How To Live With Vision (And How That's Different Than Having Goals)
Kent R.
For years, we've been told that goal setting is fundamental to success and fulfillment.
Recently, however, there's been a lot of chatter about the negative aspects of goal setting. For most people, the whole topic of goals are bad is either a complete shock or at least completely confusing, so let's get into it.
On this episode of the Stop Hating Monday's podcast, we're discussing the negative aspects of goals and a better way to move things forward.
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TRANSCRIPT
Caanan
For years, we've been told that goal setting is fundamental to success and fulfillment.
(Well, we haven't been talking about fulfillment for that long unfortunately, but I digress.)
Recently, however, there's been a lot of chatter about the negative aspects of goal setting. For most people, the whole topic of “goals are bad” is either a complete shock or at least completely confusing, so let's get into it.
On this episode of the Stop Hating Monday's podcast, we're discussing the negative aspects of goals and a better way to move things forward.
Caanan
Alright, Kent, let's just get into this whole “negative aspects of goals” topic. And to do that, I'm going to ask this question that we got from Sam. They asked, “why do I look at social media and become obsessed with other people's lives and their goals, sometimes even making them my own?”
Kent
Yes, this whole path we talk about that's outlined in Stop Hating Mondays, which has been the focus of this season's podcast. We talked a lot about the fundamental and rudimentary parts of this path. Those fundamental parts are:
Figuring out your strengths
Figuring out your values
Having an honest look at your life and
Really wrapping your arms around what your passion passions really are.
But what this is all about – and I love that Sam's question gives us the opportunity to talk about this – what this is all about: Living a life with vision. We often, when we're doing the deep client work, talk about this path backwards. It's just that when we're answering client questions or people's questions (I guess they're not all clients), we tend to go right back to those fundamental things, strengths and values and everything, but in reality, we talk a lot about the hope and the desire that organizations and work groups and people will operate with vision. That's the reason why you then go back to the beginning of our process, and you care about strengths and values in all aspects of your life. We say that goals are great goals related to your vision are really great and even essential, but goals alone are not a vision. A vision is a constantly unfolding path you walk deliberately to go deeper and deeper into purpose.
So we talk at this stage in the process about integrating everything you've learned so far, your strengths, your values, your life inventory, your passion, your dedication to staying on the path. Remember that? Don't get distracted by bright shiny things. All of that to begin to see a vision for your life and to take forward action in achieving it. And this really goes right back to what we talked about in the last episode – that joy in doing. Well, why is there a joy in doing? Not because of a goal, but rather because you have a vision for your life and having a vision for your life transcends any goal you could have, Short term or midterm.
So a goal that's not in service of that larger vision is likely not going to be bring the kind of fulfillment that it could bring had you had this self-knowledge and the attached vision for your life.
Caanan
I like this straightforward question we got from John the other day, he asked, “I don't have a vision for my life, is that really so bad?”
Yeah, I mean is that so bad?
Kent
You know, honestly, no. This goes back to like our core belief system in, in operating this business that helps people and work groups. Nothing is bad. We're all just living one crazy life doing the best we can. Now if John had asked, “is this the most productive way I can be living my life?”, I would say absolutely not. Because having that vision for your life helps you to release all the muck that we all encounter in life.
And I think back to your last question from Sam.
You know why Sam is obsessed with what other people are doing and clicking around LinkedIn profiles and feeling like people are doing all these worthwhile things. Well, that's why. Sam is doing that because Sam does not have a vision for their life.
So I would say the same thing to John. Like, will you survive? There are worse things than not having a vision for your life. But it's a really important thing. A really important component – I would say the ultimate component. We actually believe it's the ultimate component of a fulfilled life because if you're working toward a vision from a place of self-knowledge – again, we start to sound like broken records – nothing can deter you from your path. You know what you're made of, so good comes, bad comes, you just adjust accordingly.
When we say that having a vision for your life is like the biggest reality check, where the more you know about yourself and the more you channel that into the vision you have for where your life is heading, the easier it is for you to let go of the troubles that come your way. Both because you know the reality of your life – you've faced it – and you know the reality of a vision which is nothing is certain. Nothing is as certain as we think it is. There are a few things that are certain, but so much that makes up a life well lived is not certain. So you learn in this process… Realize that crazy curveballs are going to happen all the time. And it just doesn't matter, because I've got this idea, this vision for my life, which can be tweaked as you go. But it's this journey toward this vision. And the multiple little paths and side paths it will take that really to make things exciting and fulfilling.
Caanan
We spend a lot of time talking to clients about how to move things forward. I mean, when it comes right down to it, that's what most people and work groups are seeking. They're coming to us to help move things forward in a concrete way.
Yeah, I don't have a question about that. I just want you to talk about moving things forward.
Kent
Yeah, it's such a… It's such a great thing cause you know, again, these podcasts can be very frustrating because there's not a lot of black and white. So many things have nuance. And perspective changes how things are.
You know how something appears to me is different than it appears to you is different than it appears to a coworker. So asking if something moves things forward is a really great tool because it's so hard to decide at times which way to go. Which micro path to take. Which step to take. Asking, “does it move things forward?” is very helpful.
So let me just tell you:
Letting go of a goal mindset means letting go of old measures of success and small wins that give you a fleeting sense of accomplishment. Those little hits of success are really addictive. But you know that they don't provide the lasting fulfillment you are craving.
So in Stop Hating Mondays, we go on to say:
So, how do you measure success if you don't have a clear linear goal, you simply ask yourself if your actions are moving things forward and you determine the answer by drawing on everything you've learned about yourself. So when you're living with vision, your main goals are to 1) make decisions and take actions that you believe will bring you greater wisdom and set you up for profound meaningful achievements and 2) you continually move down your path, driven by a sense of purpose and a feeling of fulfillment. You may still set goals for yourself and achieve small wins, but action is imbued with a greater sense of purpose, because it is moving you closer to the vision you have for your life.
So 1) make decisions and take actions that you believe will bring you greater wisdom. Wondering what to do, wondering if something is worth it, ask “does it move things forward? Will it bring me greater wisdom and set me up for the meaningful achievements that will help me feel like I'm living the vision I have for my life?”
That's what I think it's all about moving things forward in this moment. And then the next moment. And then the moment after that.
