Everything we do here at The Change Laboratory in some way or another has to do with making change easier or influencing people and organizations to change. Because dealing effectively with change – welcoming change – not only removes a barrier to fulfillment, it’s a key part of the process of becoming more fulfilled in the first place.

So lets learn how to embrace change.

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Kent

If you didn't think it was important to embrace change, this year has certainly disabused you of that notion. 2020 has been such a whirlwind of change – change on the scale many of us didn't even think was possible – so much so that we've been left with no other option than to give into it. And you know what? That's a good thing.

Everything we do here at the change laboratory in some way or another has to do with making change easier or influencing people and organizations to change, because dealing effectively with change – welcoming change – not only removes a barrier to fulfillment, it’s also a key part of the process of becoming more fulfilled in the first place.

You simply can't be fulfilled if you're resisting reality. Look, even if it takes an insane year to wear us down and compel us to embrace change instead of fighting the unavoidable, well, that's a real silver lining.

And let's be honest, we could all use some silver linings these days.

So let's take something positive, something transformational – in a good way – from all this disruption. Let's learn how to embrace change. I'm Kent, here with Caanan, and this is the Stop Hating Mondays podcast.

Caanan

Well, a pandemic and all of its repercussions – jeez, I shouldn't even list these 'cause it's so depressing – but you know, the loss of life, the skyrocketing unemployment, a faltering economy… They’ve represented an inordinate amount of change and disruption.

The fact is that large and small change happened before COVID. And it's going to happen long after COVID is under control. (Let's hope that’s soon). And that brings us to our first tip.

Understand that change is inevitable.

Kent

Yeah, I mean it sounds obvious. You already know this.

The old adage: You can't control what happens, you can only control how you respond to what happens. But it's really remarkable to see how many people fight the truth that change is always present. You know, somebody thinks they're great with change, and then they blow a gasket when they show up at their coffee shop and it's opening 10 minutes late or whatever. Or, you know, say a meeting gets changed. When you really look at it. A lot of people don't act like change is inevitable.

Caanan

It's so true. There really is not much more to say than that. I mean, change is going to happen whether you like it or not. It's going to happen whether you're ready for it or not, or if you're prepared for it.

So, you really only have two options, right? Get honest and recognize that change is inevitable. Or you can fight reality. I don't think we have to tell you that fighting reality is really no option at all.

Caanan

When it comes right down to it, to be comfortable with change, you need to be good at change. And the only way to be good at change is just the same ways how you get good at anything. Practice. So that's our second tip. Practice change.

Kent

Yeah, I like how you put that. So, a lot of people say “if it ain't broke, don't fix it” and that advice is best left to toasters and TV's and stuff like that.

The truth is that even things that aren't broken – things that are working well – are going to change. And a little bit of practice changing things that are working – as well as practice changing things that aren't working – makes dealing with change that is out of your control that much easier. So yeah, try this. Try tabulating, taking notes on something I got into a minute ago… how change out of your control is impacting you? When that coffee shop is open 10 minutes late. When someone cancels a meeting. How are you really responding? How comfortable are you with that? Do you still feel a sense of control and ability to quickly pivot? An ability to say, “this is what happens in life, change, and this is how I'm dealing with it”.

Then make small changes in your own life – on your own – to see how you feel about the disruptions that you are in control of. So, you know, take the bus to work instead of driving. Drive a different way to work. Go to a different coffee shop (since your coffee shop opened 10 minutes late) and get honest with how you're really dealing with that. Is it comfortable to sort of shift things up or, like so many of our clients, are you realizing like, “Oh my God, the littlest thing happened, and I'm completely thrown.”

You know, we work with a lot of work groups and, for instance, people in a work group getting just like the tiniest bit of well positioned constructive feedback and it's just the end of the world. Or people who suffer a job loss. We've worked with so many clients who've been furloughed or laid off or whatever, and they feel completely at a loss. Like God, they totally get it when all their friends are furloughed now there laid off and it's as if they have no sense of what to do. So yeah. Practicing change, getting honest with how you respond to change – how you change within yourself – and making notes about that.

Caanan

Yeah, I, I think that's so key because understanding how you respond to change and working to take control of your response to change by, as you suggested, monitoring your response to the change you can't control and also the change you can control – the stuff you decide to do – it's just a small way of knowing yourself and really… we'll get into this, I mean, in every podcast – knowing yourself is really the key to being good at change.

Caanan

There is a reason a lot of people fight and fear change. And it's not just people who are happy with their lives and don't want something to disrupt the good thing they have going on. That's understandable, but here's what's really surprising. Even people that are unhappy in their lives – people who are, like, desperate for something different, resist change.

Kent

Yeah.

Caanan

Why would they do that?

Well, because change – good, bad or neutral – creates instability. And change means “something different”, right? That something different is happening. And even when that “something different” (and I'm using air quotes here) represents possibilities – like something better – it can feel very upsetting because it's like “not knowing” – I'm using air quotes again – “not knowing”.

So if you want to embrace change, you first need to get over the fear of instability and “not knowing”. And the best way to do that is to know yourself.

I told you I'd say it again.

Kent

Yeah, so here we are. We're doing a podcast on embracing change – the name of our business is The Change Laboratory – this idea, knowing yourself, comes up all across our website in all of the work we do with our corporate clients, our individual clients, it's at the center of nearly every conundrum, every situation, every problem, because knowing yourself is the best way to handle almost anything. And since most anything that needs to be handled involves change,

Well, knowing yourself is the most effective way to effectively handle change.

I think what's most important for people to know is that when you know yourself, you lose that sense of “not knowing.” Your foundation of self-knowledge – knowing yourself – reduces your fear of not knowing and allows you to effectively pivot. As I was saying, you know, kind of modeling earlier in my examples to say “I can deal with this. Yeah, no big deal here too. You know, the coffee shops aren't open all the time,” that equips you to then deal with bigger change. Harder, change. People dying, losing jobs.. It's not pleasant. It's not easy, but the knowledge that you gained from knowing yourself – that you can then apply to getting over the change – that confidence that comes with “I can handle this. I know myself, I know my strengths, I know what to do” is key.

Caanan

We like to think of it like this… When you know yourself, you have this new superpower and you're able to walk through this storm of constant change as the eye of the storm. You're no longer at the whim of the external forces this and all the craziness that change can bring. Instead, you know yourself, so you have this internal sense of stability that is much stronger than all the turmoil and turbulence out there. And that sense of strength allows you to move through the world with this sort of “bring it on” attitude.

Kent

Perfectly, but.

Kent

Embracing change is foundational to living a more fulfilled life. Not just in this crazy year, but every year. So here are those tips.

Again, number one: understand the change is inevitable.

Number 2: practice change

And number 3: Know yourself.