In the documentary Group Therapy, Neil Patrick Harris talks about why LA is so exhausting. It’s too much of an industry town, he says. Too focused on climbing. He tells a story about finally getting invited to a major awards show – a milestone moment for any actor – only to learn that the “real” event is the after-party.

The next year, NPH and his husband are ushered beyond the velvet ropes and into the after-party, only to discover there’s another set of ropes inside – a VIP section they aren’t allowed into. And so it goes. Until, sufficiently famous, they reach the holy grail: Madonna’s after-after party.

You know how this ends.

When they arrive to Madonna’s already hyper-exclusive party, there’s yet another level. Downstairs, where the Queen of Pop parties with an even more exclusive group of people.

NPH is talking about Hollywood. But he’s also talking about something much more universal – the relentless pursuit of the next level. That exhausting belief that the next thing will finally be the thing.

There Is No “Thing”

One of our clients – let’s call her Maya – landed what she’d told us in an exclamation-point-heavy email was her dream job. A leadership role at a mission-driven company with a great title, great pay, and flexibility to live where she wanted. She’d worked for months to get it, pouring energy into one-on-one interviews, group interviews, pitches, more interviews. When she finally got the offer, she cried. “I’m equal measures proud and relieved,” she shared.

Fast forward two months and she got in touch again, but this time with no exclamation points: “The job’s great but I’m wondering if you think it’s too soon to start making a move for VP?”

I’d say we were surprised, but we’ve been at this a long time.

The moment we arrive at a milestone, the mind naturally looks for the next one. It’s not because we’re greedy or ungrateful, it’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe that happiness and fulfillment live just over there. Just beyond where we are right now.

That’s why chasing the “next level” rarely brings real satisfaction. You reach the summit, snap a quick selfie, and immediately start looking around for a better view. That’s because you weren’t climbing for the experience, you were climbing for the validation. And validation is external and fleeting. It doesn’t settle in. It doesn’t ground you. It certainly doesn’t last.

And There’s No There, There.

When you’re always looking ahead to some “thing” that will finally make you happy, you’re postponing fulfillment. You’re treating it like a reward that only comes after you’v leveled up. But there is no level, no position, no amount of money, no “thing” that delivers on the promise. Because you can’t find fulfillment over there, it’s right here.

Right where you are.

You just have to choose to build it. And you do that through small, consistent choices rooted in clarity and intention.

So instead of asking “what’s next?”, try this:

1. Get curious about the craving.

When you’re chasing something, ask yourself: What feeling am I really after? Belonging? Significance? Safety? Freedom? Get clear on the core desire, because the promotion or status or party invite is just a stand-in.

2. Create that feeling right here.

Once you know what you’re craving, find a grounded, personal way to create it now. If you’re chasing freedom, block off a full afternoon for yourself – no errands, no productivity. If you’re craving significance, mentor someone or contribute to something bigger than yourself.

3. Build your life from enough.

When you shift your focus from chasing to choosing, you stop living for a future when you’ll finally be happy and start designing a life that is fulfilling today. Every day.

That’s a No Vacation Required life.

And let’s be honest… Why do we think Madonna’s hyper-uber-ultra-exclusive downstairs party is going to be worth all the effort. For all we know, it’s a bunch of people wishing they could walk down to the local club for a casual drink with friends. You know, the thing you can do.