How Personality Can Affect Work Experience
Kent R.
Something you think is objectively frustrating happened at work, and you're upset about it. Your coworker agrees that what happened is frustrating, but just isn't that bothered by it? How can that be? You both experienced the same thing, right?
On this episode of the Stop Hating Mondays Podcast were discussing how people can experience the same thing – workplace disruptions, assertive bosses, a problematic corporate culture – but have dramatically different responses.
TRANSCRIPT
(Transcripts are auto-generated and may contain minor errors)
Caanan
Something you think is objectively frustrating happened at work, and you're upset about it. Your coworker agrees that what happened is frustrating, but just isn't that bothered by it? How can that be? You both experienced the same thing, right?
Well, that's what we're talking about today on the Stop Hating Mondays podcast. How people can experience the same thing – workplace disruptions, assertive bosses, a problematic corporate culture – but have dramatically different responses.
Caanan
This question we got in an e-mail from Casey is really interesting. She shared that she's generally happy with her role and the work she does, but all isn't well. She asked, “is it terrible that my company's political donations make me want to quit? Should I just get over it and realize that everyone has to deal with this on some level.”
Kent
Yeah, so Casey must be dealing with the company that heavily asks employees to donate to the lobby that works on behalf of the interests of the company. And that's a bridge too far for Casey. This has come up many times with us and I think, I think the answer that we give is very surprising. And the answer is it depends. It all comes back here. To your personality type. More values based personality types are going to be kind of deeply offended by this because this brings home for those people – kind of half the population – how different they might be from the company they work for. And for people whose personalities hinge on making values based decisions, that can be nearly unbearable, you know, how can I work for a company that donates to? Uh, we see a lot of that now.
Caanan
People are experiencing that a lot.
Kent
Yeah. And I like that that is causing us to look at this from both sides. So I say to Casey, if that bothers you, that tells me that there's a mismatch with who you are, and you may want to do a great job but be looking for another job, especially during this time when it's easier to hop jobs because that kind of values based fit is more important for you. So now what I think is surprising to people, especially when we do our work group work, is something like this may not bother somebody at all. Say somebody who has the same political leanings as Casey and who would be bothered by this in a certain way because their personality is not a values based decision making personality. They're more with what's called a black and white or a thinking type decision making personality, they're not likely to be bothered by this. So two people on the same side of the political spectrum could have two different responses to this and to that person. I say if it doesn't bother you, if there's still a match with your personality type, then you're fine. But somebody like Casey, who's kind of having this thrown in her face as we know many companies. I've worked for a couple of them. It truly can be this unbearable reminder of how different you are from the company, and it's totally valid that the cases in the world want to eventually move on because they don't see a good home there. And I think equally is surprising. It's perfectly valid that other people are not bothered at all. And that's OK with them.
Caanan
Well, when it comes right down to it, this is yet another reason to know who you are, right?
Kent
Yeah, well, like when we say everything is a good reason to. Know who you are, he like. We're always saying like there's really. No unanswerable conundrum or question because if. You know who you are. That just serves as your compass for how you address whatever problem is in front of you. So absolutely this is another reason to know who you are. The more you know what you're made of, you know, the more you know how to operate in any of the many roles you play. And this comes back down to that thing that we talked about a lot, which is you have all these roles in your life. And in this case is 1 role or work role where she's having this hiccup wondering, like, do I want to work at this place that donates to…? Except, in truth though, Casey is only one person. So using this self knowledge of who I am, what I need, where I'm heading, then you apply that to all these different roles in your life. You're more successful than at making decisions in each of those different roles, and you're more successful at knowing that, despite having all these different roles, I am only one person with one personality, one set of strengths, one set of values one life full of many facets that I'm dealing with – career, community, altruistic nutrition, fitness, family, all those things. You're realizing that the more you know yourself, the more you're able to dole out self advice in a way that creates equilibrium because you just know how you are and who you are. And I'm sure Casey, who's having this issue within her company, is the kind of person who, if a contentious political conversation comes up at Thanksgiving and she learns about some differences in the family that she's not happy about, that probably is a big bother to her in that atmosphere as well, but that all comes from self knowledge: knowing what you need to thrive and knowing what you need to. Have good familial relations, have good work relations, and move all the roles in your life forward.
Caanan
This is interesting. As it relates to something another listener, Ed, shared. He said that he dislikes his coworkers and the disharmony so much that he's often tempted to quit. Well, I mean, nobody likes disharmony, but not everyone responds in the same way as Ed. So what advice would you give him?
Kent
Yeah, I mean this is very much like Casey situation. So Ed is one of many personality types that have a kind of, what we call, an external connector orientation. And that makes Harmony – keyword harmony – a key component of their tech. Right, so Ed isn't weird for wanting to. Leave, but neither is. Another employee for not being bothered by that. It's just knowing who you are and people who have this external connector component to their personality. It's like half of people are going to be really bothered in an environment that has friction, so a trading floor would not be a great environment for this person and it's OK because you want to get to an environment that feels good for you. Now, having said that, I want to go back to something I said in the first episode of this season. The other benefit of knowing your personality type, knowing who you are – your strengths, your values, your passion – you then can see both sides, you see that you have a certain trait, but other people have different traits, and you learn how that kind of – what’s the word? modulated? both sides, not just your thinking.
Caanan
Yeah, modulated.
Kent
Head Case Harmony meeting side. You realize there's another side. So for somebody like me who would also prefer harmony in a workplace, well, in the kind of work I do, I'm very good at working in environments that aren't harmonious. My job. Is often to bring harmony to work groups. So as I. Said to that person in the the first episode, I would say to add in Casey like. Also, can't run away from everything that is. Isn't a perfect fit for you. You have to be growing and learning and living along the way as you find that perfect place to land in all the roles of your life, not just the career role. So you can't have this attitude. Oh, I don't like this. I'm leaving or this doesn't work. I'm leaving. Or Can you believe my company donates to wherever I'm leaving? You have to learn to thrive while you're building this self-awareness and an ultimate game plan, and you can do that. By knowing yourself, because the magic of knowing yourself is you. Then learn about other people and the opposite of yourself, and it gives you more heart space to understand different perspectives. It doesn't change yours. You are who you are, but. It makes it easier. To cope with those things, that. Can seem unbearable in the moment.
